Blake Pendlebury's Facebook "sick" letter captures kudos from impressed slackers
But if the shindig was really rocking, you might try: “Listen…I seem to have (voice cracks pathetically) come down with The Cccrruuuuudd,” as you prop yourself up in bed still wearing last night’s go-to-party shirt and slacks.
“The Crud” is a great non-clinical catchphrase. It covers all the symptoms you’re trying to convey along an unspecified range—from the sniffles to open, oozing wounds. “Infection,” by the way, also works equally well to describe a snuffy nose and a flesh-eating bacteria.
Back to your Monday morning morning Oscar bid: “It’s really kickin’ (emphasis is effective on either the verb or adverb) my butt and I’m just afraid if I drag myself in, the whole building’s gonna get it.” Remember to say “gonna” with the same urgency JFK conveyed pronouncing “NOT” in his “Ask NOT What Your Country” speech. The same excuse, as an email or text, gets the job done. But it’ll probably demand a couple more details in lieu of your near-death-emoting live performance. If you’re well enough to hit the keyboard, co-workers figure you can find a way to cover those deadlines.
Just like Sex Panther Cologne, 60% of the time, that routine works every time. But wouldn’t it be sweet if we had the job security or authentic intestinal fortitude—not the fake intestinal flu—to really be real. To just say, “I lost track of my Budweiser count about the same time the damn Steelers were forgetting how to play defense. Then I chased down my misery at the thought of Belichik and Brady hoisting another Super Bowl trophy by hoisting a giant Long Island Iced Tea made out of what was left in the liquor cabinet—which was pretty much a bottle of Jack.”
Well, Blake Pendlebury, the awesome Aussie owner of Gaslight Pizza made his country, and slackers worldwide, proud when he posted his bracingly honest Facebook post. Lose that splitting skull scalder, my fellow revelers and anti-patriots, and you can read it yourself. It’s a masterpiece of candor, combining brutal honesty (no adequate backup) with a tone of heartfelt appreciation for his customers. Mr. Pendlebury, with major pizzaiolo chutzpah, admits he has come to the “bittersweet” conclusion that his restaurant, absent his cooking skills, is not worth opening. See what he’s done there? Old Blake has turned the ultimate work screwup—drunken irresponsibility—into a gesture of loyalty, true love and professional integrity to his customers.
Blake Pendlebury tied one on. And they ate it up! One customer replied to his post with a Facebook high-five: Claire Stachurski: That's possibly the very best "sick note" I've ever seen! Congratulations on both fronts!
![]() |
Pizza guy Blake Pendlebury tied one on. |
Here’s another: Jodie Adams: Like & appreciate your honesty. Congratulations!
👍🏼
😊
Talk about the benefits of being your own boss! Somehow, I know my version of Pendlebury’s get-out-of-work free request wouldn’t be received so empathetically.
“Dear PMQ Publisher,
I regret to inform you that due to the NFL football-watching drunkfest I attended yesterday, I
will be unable to join you and my esteemed colleagues this morning for normal business hours. Unfortunately, unless this unprecedented episode of alcohol poisoning relents and my brain ceases its painful attempt to split in half and leak out from both ears, I may miss Tuesday as well. In this case, I highly suggest you cancel publication of the magazine and all new website posts pending my healthy return.”
With Best Regards and Sober Respect,
Your dedicated employee
Talk about the benefits of being your own boss! Somehow, I know my version of Pendlebury’s get-out-of-work free request wouldn’t be received so empathetically.
“Dear PMQ Publisher,
I regret to inform you that due to the NFL football-watching drunkfest I attended yesterday, I
will be unable to join you and my esteemed colleagues this morning for normal business hours. Unfortunately, unless this unprecedented episode of alcohol poisoning relents and my brain ceases its painful attempt to split in half and leak out from both ears, I may miss Tuesday as well. In this case, I highly suggest you cancel publication of the magazine and all new website posts pending my healthy return.”
With Best Regards and Sober Respect,
Your dedicated employee
Shakopee, MN Commercial Water Damage Restoration and Water Removal and Cleanup Services | SERVPRO of Shakopee / Savage / Prior Lake:For water damage and flooding events, SERVPRO is a trusted leader in commercial property restoration. SERVPRO Franchise Professionals offer fast service 24/7. Call today - (952) 403-1050. We proudly serve Shakopee, MN, Savage, MN, Prior Lake, MN, Chaska, MN, Chanhassen, MN, Victoria, MN, New Prague, MN, Belle Plaine, MN, Jordan, MN, Carver, MN, Elko New Market, MN, Cologne, MN
ReplyDeleteSource: Commercial water damage Shakopee
I really appreciate the information that you have shared on your Blog. Thanks for shearing this blog.
ReplyDeleteHow to Print From iPad to Wireless Printer
How to print from iPhone to HP printer without Airprint?
How to Print From iPhone To Canon Printer
Why my Wireless Printer not Answering Back
What to do When my Printer Stop Responding to my Computer
Learn to Connect your Printer & the Computer via USB Cable?
Learn to Connect your Printer to the Computer via Wireless Setup Wizard
How to Setup HP Printer to Print from iPhone
How to Fix Brother Printer Drum Error At Your Own
Good blog. Keep sharing. I love them Are you also searching for Cheap assignment help? we are the best solution for you. We are best known for delivering cheap assignments to students without having to break the bank
ReplyDelete