
Not so much about the obvious observations:
A. Those Irish restaurant owners and delivery drivers must be super nice to actually agree to bring Fiona Cuffe her Benelyn Cold and Flu tablets from the drug store.
B. Since when do fish joints serve pizza, anyway?
Nope, you know my mo’, faithful readers. Got to go deep. I started pondering, in reverse order of cosmic significance:
1. She says in her online order: “…only ordering food so I can get the tablets. I’m dying sick xx.” She insulted their food…and they still brought her the darn meds! Must have been the kisses.
2. If I thought I was about to croak, and I truly believed my pizza deliverers would bring me anything I asked for in honor of my dying wish, I’d start with Super Bowl tickets, or maybe two front-row seats to the Garth Brooks concert coming up in Memphis.
3. OK I get it, we’re talking about items a delivery driver could reasonably stop and pick up on her way with the pizza. Stuff like razors and deodorant and toothpaste and ear swabs. If you’re like me, you’re always running out of toilet paper just when you need it most.
4. TMI? A rare blizzard (actually thin dusting) is panicking peeps here in Mississippi. Instead of me overcrowding the local Dollar General to stampede levels, the super nice pizza driver could bring me my bread and milk and keep my face off TV.
5. Overkill? Batteries are practical. They can mean the difference between life and death when you lose the electrical cord on your radio boombox.
6. OK, we’ve already stipulated these are really, really nice pizzeria owners and delivery drivers so I’m doubling down. In this utopian existence, they would surely do their best to make my final hours on Earth special. I’d ask for some 6-inch Angus fillets, king crab legs and a turtle sundae to top off my pepperoni pizza.
7. It’s true, I’ve got a nervous stomach. I know I’d be too rattled to eat one of those rich final meals if I was only a couple hours from taking my last walk to the lethal injection room before getting strapped in. Please, Fish and Chips Pizza Man, bring me a puppy, instead, (with big feet, not a snippy little yippy dog) to pet and cuddle before the lights go out.
8. Forgot about the lease. I’m a simple man with simple needs, in touch with my Emily Dickenson side. Just deliver some brilliant Red, White and Yellow roses in a deep crystal vase (long A) with an oversized card signed by my girlfriend that reads: “You deserve to experience all the beauty in the world. Here is just a glimpse of what reflects back to me when I look in your eyes.”
9. I know what you’re thinking, dear reader. “You’re frickin’ dying already. Why isn’t Miss Wonderful there to hold your hand while you give it up?" Or maybe: “Did he really write that part about the reflecting beauty, or was it some Hallmark nerd?”
10. All mine and, no, my girlfriend hasn’t ditched me! She’s just super, super, really, really busy at work. And that’s why we don’t have time to go see Garth Brooks. The heck with it, we’re talking theoretical scenario, folks. My for-real questions are simply: Does Fiona look more like the ogre in the movie, or Cameron Diaz? And, did she even pony up a tip?
Find out Garth Brooks Net Worth
ReplyDeletePositive site, where did u come up with the information on this posting? I'm pleased I discovered it though, ill be checking back soon to find out what additional posts you include. cheap walkie talkies
ReplyDeleteAwesome blog, thank you so much for sharing such amazing information with us. For a custom website design and SEO Services at the minimum cost.
ReplyDeleteWebsite Designing Company in Delhi
That’s really good research you have done. Thanks for the great information. digital marketing packages , guest post services
ReplyDeleteThis is really a nice and informative, containing all information and also has a great impact on the new technology. Thanks for sharing it.
ReplyDeleteNursing Assignment Writing Help
Your blog is very nice thank you for this wonderful information I like very much for this article.
ReplyDeleteessay typer
do my essay for cheap
Our best quality assignment help at affordable prices. We offer best assignment writing services at cheap price with 100% plagiarism free.
ReplyDeletewrite my essay
Our skillful editors produce high-quality my assignment help which is ... We get your order- homework help while our responsibility also attempts to help you. assignment assistance Tort Law homework help Tort Law homework help
ReplyDeleteLaw assignment writing services are essential for law essay writing services and Law Research Writing Services seekers.
ReplyDeleteCollege students can contact us to get good grades in Homework writing service. We will also help you with cheap online assistance at affordable prices by professional experts.
ReplyDeleteBest assignment help
Amazing blog, thank you so much for sharing this valuable blog. Visit Protrek Adventure for affordable Everest Base Camp Trek and Three Passes Trek with the best guidance.
ReplyDeleteEverest Base Camp Three Passes Trek
It is important for neurobiology coursework writing help seekers to find the best Neurobiology Writing Services from a reputable neurobiology research paper writing service provider for their custom neurobiology essay writing services.
ReplyDeleteKeep going on this amazing blog. Visit RP Paper Impex for Business Diary Manufacturer and Tissue Paper Roll Suppliers in India at an affordable price.
ReplyDeleteTissue Paper Roll Suppliers in India
Webocity Technologies is best website designing company in delhi, Best Website development company in Delhi, We Offer Best Digital Marketing services in Delhi.
ReplyDeletethis website information is amazing, i would like to read more
ReplyDeleteThis blog was really amazing and valuable, thank you so much for sharing this blog. Sarswati Enterprises is a leading Pilfer Proof Caps Making Machinery and Die Set Manufacturers in Delhi, for more information visit our website.
ReplyDeleteDie Set Manufacturers in Delhi
Great Post, thanks for sharing such an amazing blog with us. Veramed is one of the leading Quality Herbal and Ayurvedic Products and Anti Hairfall Ayurvedic Hair Care Products in India.
ReplyDeleteBest Quality Herbal and Ayurvedic Products in India
Service Desk Engineer are the first point of contact in any organization for resolving or escalating issues relating to hardware, software, network, and others.
ReplyDeleteThis is one of the best work i came across today, keep it up. Your information is really appreciable.
ReplyDelete1000 free youtube subscribers
SMM service
I’m really impressed by this blog, thanks for sharing this amazing information with us. Visit Ogen Infosystem for Corporate Website Designing and SEO Services at affordable price in Delhi, India.
ReplyDeleteWebsite Designing Company in Delhi
IDM Crack
ReplyDeleteHоw dо ореn-ѕоurсе рrоduсtіvіtу ѕuіtеѕ compare tо MS Office - аnd dоеѕ іt mаkе ѕеnѕе fоr уоur оrgаnіzаtіоn tо сhооѕе frее соmmunіtу software rаthеr thаn Microsoft's commercially licensed оffеrіng? www.office.com/setup www.office.com/setup
ReplyDelete